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Suck-Ass Performer of the Game
Jason Kubel
Jason Kubel
(0-5, 2 K, 3 LOB)
Suck-Ass Performance Stats
Player Number
Jason Kubel 14
Michael Cuddyer 11
Nick Blackburn 10
Matt Guerrier 10
Denard Span 9
Alex Burnett 8
Orlando Hudson 8
Kevin Slowey 8
Jim Thome 8
Scott Baker 6
J.J. Hardy 6
Jon Rauch 6
Francisco Liriano 5
Justin Morneau 5
Delmon Young 5
Jesse Crain 4
Brendan Harris 3
Ron Mahay 3
Joe Mauer 3
Carl Pavano 3
Matt Tolbert 3
Danny Valencia 3
Drew Butera 2
Matt Capps 2
Alexi Casilla 2
Jose Mijares 2
Nick Punto 2
Jason Repko 2
Drew Butera 1
Brian Duensing 1
Randy Flores 1
Ron Gardenhire 1
Jeff Manship 1
Pat Neshek 1
Glen Perkins 1
Trevor Plouffe 1
Wilson Ramos 1
Anthony Slama 1

Date: 8/14/10

Opponent: Oakland Athletics

Home/Away: Home

Starting Pitcher: Duensing

Final Score: W 2-0

Record: 67-50

Recap: Damn, I didn't expect that from Duensing. Not that I expect him to pitch poorly, but that dominant showing was more than I could ever hope for. It makes me downright giddy! There's not a lot to talk about; Duensing struggled a bit with his control in the first 3 innings, but after that he mowed down the A's like this dog. He allowed only 3 hits, all singles, and walked 2, but thanks to a couple of double plays and a pick off he faced just 29 batters. Pretty damn impressive if you ask me. It was only his 14th Major League start, and he got his first complete game and his first shutout. Not bad for his first start at Target Field. 

Trevor Cahill was nearly as good, but the Twins scratched across 1 run against him. In the 3rd inning, Casilla doubled to start the inning, and then Span bunted him to 3rd. He then scored on a sac fly hit by Hudson. Nothing like a little small ball against a dominant pitcher. It was the only run the Twins would need, but they did add another in the 8th against Craig Breslow. First of all, let me say that I am filled with rage whenever I think of Breslow, because he should really be a Twin still and I miss him. Sean Fucking Henn, we lost him for Sean Fucking Henn. Second, I felt so bad for him tonight getting saddled with an earned run that he didn't deserve. Span doubled to lead off the inning. Then he stupidly tried to advance to 3rd on a grounder hit in front of him to the shortstop (Denard Span: Baserunner Extraordinaire). Depending on your viewpoint (and which team you were rooting for in the game), Span either avoided the 3rd baseman's tag or was called safe incorrectly by the 3rd base umpire. He ended up scoring on a Mauer single (Mauer had 3 of the 8 hits tonight).

So while the offense was nearly non-existent, it was more than enough for Duensing. He got a nice shaving cream pie to the face courtesy of Punto and a bunch of hugs. With that amazing performance the Twins have guaranteed a series win and gained a game over the White Sox. Let's keep on rolling! 

Best Moment: Duensing's complete game shutout.

Most Questionable Moment: The play at 3rd base in the 8th inning. 

Worst Moment: Nothing.

Quotations of the Day:

  • "A fantastic night for Deuce as we call him." - Ron Gardenhire, on Brian "Deuce" Duensing. All I can think of with Deuce is dropping a deuce. Not exactly the best connotation.
  • "It doesn't taste very good." - Brian Duensing, on the shaving cream.
  • "I think [Gardy] thought people were calling me 'Deuce,' because he walked over and said, 'Deuce, how you doing?' And I didn't know he was even talking to me. I told some guys that story and now it's just stuck." - Brian Duensing, explaining the origin of his nickname, which he believes came about from Gardy mishearing "Duens" (or "Dunce"?) as "Deuce".

Suck-Ass Performance of the Game: Jason Kubel (0 for 4, 2 strikeouts, 6 left on base)



0 # Mrs. Hardy 2010-08-15 12:30
I teared up on the BBT coverage I caught last night before bed. He looked so happy and excited. And I loved when he was hugged Mauer. Cutest thing ever!
0 # Ty 2010-08-16 14:13
It is suprising to see Kubel on the top of the suck-ass list (how is cuddyer not ahead of him? And how has Punto managed just 2?!)

I think Blackburn was on record pace.
0 # Beth 2010-08-16 21:31
I think Kubel is just prone to extremes, really bad games or really awesome games. And as for Punto, I'm just going to chalk it up to a fluke. Plus lots of injuries that have kept him out of action. Blackburn was basically getting a suck-ass every game he started, so he definitely could have had an impressive total if he hadn't been demoted.