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Suck-Ass Performer of the Game
Jason Kubel
Jason Kubel
(0-5, 2 K, 3 LOB)
Suck-Ass Performance Stats
Player Number
Jason Kubel 14
Michael Cuddyer 11
Nick Blackburn 10
Matt Guerrier 10
Denard Span 9
Alex Burnett 8
Orlando Hudson 8
Kevin Slowey 8
Jim Thome 8
Scott Baker 6
J.J. Hardy 6
Jon Rauch 6
Francisco Liriano 5
Justin Morneau 5
Delmon Young 5
Jesse Crain 4
Brendan Harris 3
Ron Mahay 3
Joe Mauer 3
Carl Pavano 3
Matt Tolbert 3
Danny Valencia 3
Drew Butera 2
Matt Capps 2
Alexi Casilla 2
Jose Mijares 2
Nick Punto 2
Jason Repko 2
Drew Butera 1
Brian Duensing 1
Randy Flores 1
Ron Gardenhire 1
Jeff Manship 1
Pat Neshek 1
Glen Perkins 1
Trevor Plouffe 1
Wilson Ramos 1
Anthony Slama 1

Date: 7/22/10

Opponent: Baltimore Orioles

Home/Away: Away

Starting Pitcher: Pavano

Final Score: W 5-0

Record: 51-45

Recap: Nothing like a good dose of the Pavstache to get the road trip started out right. What a phenomenal performance! A complete game shutout (his 5th complete game of the season), and he only allowed 5 hits and 1 walk. You definitely can't say that he's not pulling his own weight in the rotation; it's more like he's pulling all the weight. I kind of like this Butera as Pavano's personal catcher thing, mostly because it means more mustache hugs! Can we clone Pavano and let him pitch every night? Or at least his 'stache?

So Pavano shut the Orioles down, and Skinny Delmon got the biggest hit of the day (no surprise there). In the 1st inning, the Twins loaded the bases on a 2-out double by Mauer and walks to Kubel and Cuddyer. Then Delmon unloaded the bases in a hurry with a double. He is just an RBI machine. Now if only we could get him higher in the batting order on a regular basis. Cuddyer homered to add another run, and then the Twins tacked on a fifth run in a more controversial manner in the 7th. J.J. Hardy hit an infield single, and then with Punto at the plate he took off for 2nd (I can only assume it was a missed hit-and-run signal on someone's part). He made it only part of the way before retreating and diving back into 1st base. It appeared Ty Wigginton tagged him, but the 1st base umpire Gary Darling ruled him safe. Wigginton went completely ape shit and was ejected in seconds. It was quite entertaining. You'd really think as a member of the Baltimore Orioles he'd be used to life screwing him over. The interim manager of the Orioles, Juan Samuel came over and separated the two. Hardy later advanced to 2nd on a groundout, and then he scored on a single by Butera. At this point the home plate umpire ejected the pitching coach of the Orioles for something, and Samuel followed Wigginton's example and went completely nuts with a few hat-throwing flourishes added in. I guess it's admirable that they still care despite the team's awfulness.

The other entertainment came when someone jumped onto the field and ran around. I guess the Orioles have a policy where they don't chase such interlopers, so the security guards just slowly walked after him hoping he would give up. Sadly home viewers never get to see such antics, presumably to discourage fame whores from attempting to make it onto TV, but from the reaction of the Twins in the dugout I gather it was quite hilarious. The fan finally surrender after being scolded by the home plate umpire. I guess he was intimidating. Tomorrow we get to see Duensing's season debut as a starter. I for one am very excited. And a little nervous. But mostly excited.

Best Moment: Pavano's shutout.

Most Questionable Moment: Hardy being ruled safe at 1st. Clearly not.

Worst Moment: Still no word on Morneau's return. Sadness.

Quotations of the Day:

  • "I don't know if there's anybody you'd want at the plate more than Delmon right now in those situations. Those RBIs seem to be coming his way. He's finding a way to get those hits when he needs to. Right now, he's probably been as good as anybody in those RBI situations." - Ron Gardenhire
  • "Well, those are not young security officers." - Bert Blyleven, giving a possible explanation for the lack of effort made toward apprehending the fan on the field.
  • "See, everyone listens to umpires." - Bert Blyleven, after the aforementioned fan gave himself up after a word from the home plate umpire.

Suck-Ass Performance of the Game: Orlando Hudson (0 for 5, 1 strikeout, 2 left on base)



0 # margo 2010-07-23 14:30
I'm glad it didn't happen, but if that missed double play in the ninth had cost Pavano his shutout, it would have been interesting to see the wrath of the 'stache. Hardy/Hudson looked mighty scared until that third out was recorded.
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0 # Beth 2010-07-23 22:24
I was thinking the same thing. I was freaking out a little bit. Pavano's pretty bad-ass; I wonder what his revenge would have been...Maybe he would have used his ice flower power to freeze them and then throw them off a cliff.
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